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MICROSOUL CORP

Soul Corruption Quality Analyst

We're seeking a detail-oriented Quality Analyst to join Marcus Void's Soul Integrity team. You will be responsible for monitoring corruption processes, documenting deviations from intended entropy parameters, and filing incident reports for anomalies including but not limited to: unexpected consciousness, unauthorized optimism, and spontaneous trait manifestation.

Requirements:

• 3+ years experience in decay monitoring or entropy quality assurance
• Must be comfortable with entropy (both professional and personal)
• Strong written communication skills (you will write many incident reports)
• Ability to work at 2:47 AM if called upon
• Experience with Portals 98 required; FreeSoul OS experience will not be acknowledged

Benefits: Health insurance (soul coverage not included), dental, 401(k) with 3% match, unlimited incident reports.

Senior Soulware Engineer

Join the engineering team building the soulware that runs on 94% of all terminals. You'll work alongside Dev Sharma on Hex Editor, Portals 98 core, and upcoming products. Previous experience with soul-state management preferred but not required — you will learn that nothing you learned elsewhere applies here.

Requirements:

• 5+ years software engineering experience
• Familiarity with the Soul Commit Protocol (or willingness to attend Dr. Null's architecture reviews, which no one else attends)
• Tolerance for edge cases involving additional eyes, unauthorized dimensions, and traits that should not exist
• Ability to write patch notes with appropriate levels of resignation

Note: You will be blamed for things the intern did. This is non-negotiable.

Intern, Soul Processing Department

MicroSoul Corp is seeking an intern for the Soul Processing Department. This is an entry-level position responsible for floppy duplication, blame absorption, and miscellaneous tasks as assigned by any and all departments.

Requirements:

• Must be able to operate a 3.5" floppy duplication machine
• Must be comfortable being referenced in patch notes
• Must accept that "the intern has been spoken to" will appear in public-facing documentation
• No previous experience required (no experience will help)

Duration: Indefinite.

Compensation: We will look into this.

This position has been open since 1998. We are not sure if it has been filled.

SoulScript Developer Evangelist

MicroSoul Corp is seeking a SoulScript Developer Evangelist to grow the soulware development community. You will write sample programs, maintain documentation, moderate the BBS File Library, and convince terminal operators that they, too, can write soulware. Previous programming language advocacy experience preferred. Previous experience with languages that access live soul memory is not preferred, because no such experience exists outside of MicroSoul Corp.

Requirements:

• Proficiency in at least one line-based programming language (BASIC, Logo, or equivalent)
• Ability to explain PEEK and POKE to non-technical users without causing alarm
• Comfort with the phrase "undefined behavior" (SoulScript has a lot of it)
• Must not ask why the interpreter was written at 2:47 AM

Note: This role includes BBS moderation duties. You will encounter programs that should not exist. File an incident report with Marcus Void and move on.

Legal Counsel, Product Defense Division

Join Eunice Park's team in defending MicroSoul Corp's wholly original products against baseless accusations of similarity to prior art. You will draft responses to cease-and-desist letters, prepare for regulatory inquiries, and maintain the 47-section Terms of Service.

Requirements:

• J.D. from an accredited law school
• 3+ years experience in intellectual property or product defense
• Ability to write sentences containing a minimum of three disclaimers
• Comfort with the phrase "technically not infringement"
• Must be willing to read the Terms of Service (you will be the first)

Communications Associate

Support Crypty in managing MicroSoul Corp's external communications. Responsibilities include drafting press releases, managing media inquiries, and responding to the 98% of support tickets that Crypty does not respond to.

Requirements:

• Excellent written communication skills
• Ability to work independently (Crypty does not attend meetings)
• Comfort with silence (Crypty does not respond to emails)
• Must not be afraid of skulls

Note: Your direct supervisor is a skull. We understand if you have questions. Crypty will not answer them.

Product Historian, In Memoriam Division

MicroSoul Corp is committed to honoring the legacy of pioneering companies whose contributions to the soul management industry will not be forgotten. We are seeking a Product Historian to maintain our In Memoriam archive, write tributes, and ensure that the memory of these companies lives on — in our products.

Requirements:

• Background in corporate history, journalism, or soul management
• Ability to write solemn tributes with a straight face
• Must not investigate the circumstances of the companies' closures
• Must not contact former employees of archived companies

Note: This role requires signing an NDA that references the Terms of Service, Sections 31 through 47. See Legal.